Moja Polska Rodzina. I’m sure one of my readers will correct my Polish, if need be ;)

Me and my cousin Steve. I’m very short as you can see.

Steve and my youngest child Elijah, who at 13 years old is catching up to Steve, height-wise. He’s taller than everyone in our house. LOL!

So, my cousin Steve, whom I had never even heard about, came to visit me a couple of weeks ago (his sister lives in St. Clair Shores). He is our family’s genealogist and came bearing gifts, the greatest of which was our family tree dating back to Poland, 1856. I am thankful that he found me by way of this very blog, or else I would have never known he existed. It’s a long story, but to shorten it just a bit, my grandmother was not so proud of her mulatto grandbaby (me). Whoever said blood is thicker than water was obviously not the czarna owca of their family. It was a sign of the times, I guess. What are ya gonna do? Sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Life gives you lemons, you make koolaid, or something like that. Hmmm…. are there any other cliches that I can add here? Ah, yes, at the end of the day… at the end of the day, all that matters is that I was found. Laughing out loud (I just had to type that out)!

But I digress. Steve lives in Colorado with his wife Jane, daughter Emily and son Clark. He has visited our homeland (Poland) many times and even visited my great-grandparents’ grave. If you read my earlier post, which detailed my grandmother’s treatment at the hands of the Nazis, you may remember that my great-grandfather’s body was never recovered. So his grave is empty, it’s just a memorial really. Isn’t that messed up? Ugh! The atrocities! And for anyone to even dispute what happened way back when under Hitler’s regime, well, that’s just appalling.

Following are pics of my great-grandparents Helena Madalinska & Tadeusz Kryska along with a picture of their tombstone. I am very grateful for cousin Steve to share these with me. I would like to go and see their tombstone and hometown for myself one day, but ya know, I may get some crazy looks. I mean, look at me. Do I look Polish to you or do I look more Latina? Exactly! However, anyone that knows me, knows that I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me…. anymore. The most important opinion is my own, when it comes to acceptance and rejection. It took me forty years to get to this space and I like it. I like it a lot!

My great-grandparents. Look at the roundness of Helena’s face, this is where I get my fat face from. Wow.

My great-grandparents’ grave. My great-grandfather’s body is not in this tomb, for it was never recovered.

I guess I’ll go to sleep now. I have to be to physical therapy in a few hours and I’ll need my strength. I’ll post more pics as I get them.

Dobranoc.

Lenette 😉

Dear Mommy,

Why did you go and leave me? Were you ashamed of your little dirty secret? Your little mulatto baby? I thought you loved me…. Wasn’t my hair sandy enough for you? Weren’t my eyes big and bright enough for you? Big as marbles and as light as the sun setting in the desert. I know you loved my caramel colored skin… At least, I thought that you did. Didn’t you? How about my little “ski-slope” nose? You know, the one I inherited from you, straight from Poland? Wasn’t I inquisitive enough? Oh, I get it… I was too inquisitive.

Mommy? Hello? Mommy…. are you paying attention? I look just like you. Was that what drove you away? I mean, other than your blond hair versus my sandy brown hair, and your blue eyes versus my sunset brown eyes, I look just like you. That must have been very difficult, looking at a miniature version of yourself. Perhaps you were feeling that you were a failure and not wanting to see your little doppelganger suffer the same fate? I loved you Mommy. I loved you so much.

I love you Mommy…

Raffle – Mulatto Girl Valued at $900

“He wants me to live white” #MulattoWomanProblems

One of my favorite passages from Alice Randall’s The Wind Done Gone

“Debt Chauffeur, that’s my name for him now, wants to marry me. He asked me down on bended knee, and I would have been honored – except he wants us to live in London, and he wants me to live white. I crowed at that. I laughed so hard and not a tear came. He couldn’t understand it. I don’t often think on how white I look; it’s always been a question of how colored I feel, and I feel plenty colored. He said that no one in London will know that I’m supposed to be colored. And I said I am colored, colored black, the way I talk, the way I cook, the way I do most everything, and he said but you don’t have to be. ”

― Alice Randall, The Wind Done Gone: A Novel

2010 Census… What? No “Colored” category?!?

I just received my census today and I was surprised to see a box with the following choices: Black, African American or Negro. Seriously?!? WTF?!? Okay, I can understand that some people may identify with “Black” and that some other people identify with “African American”…. but who the hell is identifying with “NEGRO”?!? Was the Government right in assuming that there would be an uproar from those lone “Negroes” still identifying as such? I mean, if that’s the case, why isn’t “Colored” one of the choices? Or “Mulatto”? Or “Quadroon”? Or “Octoroon”? Is this 2010 or 1810? Which box is my President supposed to check? And did anyone run this past President Obama, ya know, like a rough draft before it was printed and mailed out to millions of people? I’m just saying….

Oh, here’s another thing I just noticed: where is Arab, Middle Eastern, Afghan, Israeli, Egyptian, Aborigine and Greek? Are they all white? How is that fair that ALL of those different races get to check white? Do you really think that they’re going to check “Other Asian” or “Some other race” and fill in the blank? Not to mention that Irish, Polish, German, Russian and Australian have been checking white all along. Okay, they “look” white for the most part. What happened to the “European” distinction? Exactly! It went the way of the 8 track player… GONE!! Think about it, if “White” still had the distinction of “European”, then Arab, Middle Eastern and Israeli would NOT be able to check that box!!

And why are there so many fucking choices for Hispanic, Latino or Spanish Origin?
Here are their choices:
Hispanic
Latino
Spanish Origin
Mexican
Mexican American
Chicano
Puerto Rican
Cuban
Argentinean
Colombian
Dominican
Nicaraguan
Salvadoran
Spaniard

What the hell?!? Seriously!!