Category Archives: LIFE

I am Free

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.

~ Anais Nin

Transcending reality by dressing up; here as the super hero that I know myself to be, which is Wonder Woman–I am free. I cannot hear the voices that may say “Grow up Lenette,  you’re too old to play dress up!”–I am free. If I had listened to all of those negative voices growing up, I wouldn’t be here now–I am free. My imagination has afforded my the ability to survive through some very difficult times in my life–I am free. I know that I have many more difficult times ahead of me, they’re of no consequence–I am free.

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Quote of The Day – Not a Tourist

I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.

~ Anais Nin

Quote of the Day – No More Walls!

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.

– Anais Nin

Quote of the Day

I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic — in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.

– Anais Nin

Quote of the Day

You’ve got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing.

Life…

I’m looking at life through technicolored glasses right now, and I’m loving it! Life is so full of possibilities and disappointments or P’s and D’s for short, and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. It’s cliche’, yes, but it’s true. You may not ever truly know what that reason is, but you can learn something from everything, if you pay attention. Your outcome, whether negative or positive, depends on how you process information and how you choose to handle those P’s and D’s that come your way.

I’m traveling full steam ahead with as much positive energy as I can muster. In the last few weeks following my trimalleolar fracture, I have learned so much about myself just by listening to my inner voice. I have grown in ways that are not only beneficial to me, but also to everyone that I come into contact with; from my immediate family members to the cashier at the store that I may never see again.

The light in my eyes, which had dimmed to a barely perceptible flicker, have turned back on and are on highbeam! My injury has forced me to slow down and has allowed me to reflect and become inspired about my writing again. Yes, I had lost my inspiration and any hope of a positive outcome for my seemingly miserable, inauthentic existence. I was all alone and living in a dark place, deep in the recesses of my mind. Unable to share my true thoughts with anyone, including my therapist, for fear of rejection and/or ridicule. I am no longer in fear.

While I am uncertain that the darkness is gone forever, I am so happy right now that my eyes are bright again! I have no regrets. I will continue to do the things that make my heart sing. I am in a very happy, colorful place right now. Life… Love it… Live it!

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The injury… a detailed account. Part 1 – The Bout

My first bout, which was a “Fresh Meat” bout and also our Season Closer, was scheduled for May 19th, 2012. We had a few scrimmages leading up to the bout and aside from first time jitters, I think we were all ready for our debut. I was so excited! I hadn’t really figured out what I was going to wear, but that didn’t seem like it would be difficult. I have tons of derby boutfits, I just had to figure out which combination would go well with my jersey. I decided on a Hello Kitty theme.

Me before the bout…

Back of my jersey… Sheba O’Baby #1972

Check out my Day of The Dead Hello Kitty helmet!

I arrived at our skate facility at 6pm, which is an hour before doors open and a full two hours before the bout starts. I used the first hour to chat with my teammates, get geared up and find out which lines I’d be on and at what positions. I also did some stretching and warmed up out on the track.

My most handsome husband of 21 years and my biggest supporter. To his right, our son Eric and his girlfriend Katelyn. I stopped to chat with them quite often.

The second hour was a lot of the same, by this time my family and friends had arrived, so I would skate over to them every so often to chat. After a few last minute adjustments here and there, we lined up for gear inspection. I was told my left toe stop was loose, so I had to go and adjust that and get back in line. And then there were the introductions. It was so awesome to hear “Wearing number 1972, it’s Sheba O’Baby” over the sound system and to hear my family and friends screaming “Go Baby!” or “Go Sheba!”

Introductions

On the track. You can see more of my Day of the Dead Hello Kitty Helmet!

I was scheduled as an inside blocker on lines 1 and 4 and played that position for most of the bout. I had one minor penalty and one major penalty, for which I was sent to the box.

Me getting back into position from the penalty box. Keeping my head on a swivel. Rose Madder to my right and my grrrl HeleNBack to my left. Too bad HeleN’s head is cut off. Unfortunately, since I wasn’t taking pics, I don’t have any good pics of her.

We had a couple of serious injuries during this bout. The first injury was to my teammate Penny Slane. She has already suffered two broken tailbones in the past and to see her laid out on the track really saddened me. Penny is a trooper and was able to walk back to the bench, albeit very slowly and with help. My thoughts and prayers are with Penny as she heals. She is an awesome teacher, of whom I have learned a lot. Derby ❤

Penny Slane being helped off the track by Bratty Foo Foo and Deadly Sweet.

Near the end, as the bout was very close, our coaches decided we would do “Hockey Lines”, which was explained to me as going out and playing whichever position your heart desires. I really wanted to be a jammer so I lined up to be a jammer for the next jam. Just so you know, I have jammed in scrimmages and jamming is very difficult, but I thought I would give it the old college try.

Getting ready to Jam

Everything was going well, I was so happy to be jamming! I really wanted to score some points for my team although I knew the opposing jammer was sooooo much better than me. Even as she passed me and got lead jammer status, I gave it my all! Coming around a corner, doing a crossover, I was hit by a member of the opposing team. It just so happened that I had one skate off the ground at the time, so I went down with little effort and rolled my ankle. I don’t want the girl that hit me to think I have any animosity towards her. It was a clean, legal hit, my husband has assured me of this. I tried to immediately get up and go after her, but my leg wouldn’t move. I looked down and my right foot was dangling from my leg. Wow! I didn’t feel any pain. I think I was just in a state of shock or something.

Here I am, down but not out, still smiling… with that Jammer star on my head and my foot hanging precariously from my leg

Deadly Sweet, Sprinklesaurus Rex and Rapwna Flowers rush to my side

The amazing thing about roller derby is it’s a family. The girls rushed to my side to comfort me and try to distract me from my injury. It was all so surreal. I cracked jokes and tried to make them more comfortable. There were children in the audience, including my own, and I didn’t want them traumatized. I just wanted everyone to have a positive experience.

EMT on the scene along with Deadly Sweet, Sprinklesaurus Rex and Rapwna Flowers

Gotta ice it

I didn’t think I was thirsty but Noelle Bows thought I might be… whaddyaknow? I was. Sometimes, you have to listen to others. You can’t be a know-it-all.

Thanx to my bench coach Deadly Sweet for taking such good care of me and thanx to my husband for taking all of these awesome pics!

These ladies are so Awesome! Thanx so much to Deadly Sweet, Sprinklesaurus Rex, Rapwna Flowers and Noelle Bows!

I don’t know what that look is on my face, but I do know that I didn’t cry. I tried to stay upbeat during all of this craziness.

Oh boy, they’re about to lift this thing up. Hold on!

Before they wheeled me off the track, I made sure to shout out to some kids that wanted to take a pic with me after the bout. I said “if you still want a pic, you’ll have to come to the hospital!” Lol!

SillyGrrrl Making Faces Always! Me being silly with the EMT and teammate Rapwna Flowers!

Trying to make the EMT, Rapwna Flowers and Dusty Muffin laugh and not think about my mangled ankle!

Waiting for the ambulance. There’s my dear friend April and her boyfriend Jason to my left. Thanks for coming to my bout! I was really happy to see them there!

Strapped down to the stretcher…. My POV

I am in the ambulance as this pic was taken by my husband. The EMT was starting an I.V. and of course he pushed some pain meds through the line. I wasn’t feeling too loopy just yet, but I remember being very talkative. Lol!

Shout-outs/Special Thanks:

Before I bring this post to an end, I just wanted to say thank you to my family and friends that came to see my debut. I don’t really have any pics of them at the bout because I was planning on taking pics with all of them once it was over. Thank you to my husband Eric, daughter Loren, son Eric, son Elijah, Eric’s girlfriend Katelyn, Kim and her boyfriend, April and her boyfriend Jason, and last but not least Keith and his large family. I really appreciate all of you taking time out of your busy schedules to support me at my first bout!

I would also like to send a shout out to my teammate Rapwna Flowers. She has a blog called the Fresh Meat Files where you can read all about her becoming a Roller Derby Grrrl. It’s a good read, especially if you’re into Roller Derby.

I will write a separate post about my experience in the hospital. Stay tuned.

Lenette aka Sheba O’Baby 😉