Ugh…

I am feeling so… Ugh… I can’t even think of one word that can convey all of the emotions that I am feeling right now. I am in an “in-between” state. One minute I’m up. The next minute I’m down.  No, I’m not bi-polar, or at least I have NEVER been diagnosed as such. However, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which I take medication. Did I tell you about the time my doctor prescribed zoloft for me? OMG! The worst time of my life. Please allow me to explain. Being diagnosed with depression and having your VP’s and SVP’s at work tell you you’re “not being yourself”, is bad enough. Once my doctor prescribed zoloft to me and I began taking it, I lost any and all desire to have sex. Although I may have been feeling more upbeat during the day, I didn’t think about sex at all… like… ever! As far as I was concerned, sex was non-existent. That whole “being under the influence of a controlled substance” was soooo not cool. Ok, I know what some people might be saying “Sex? Who cares?”. I do. I am a very sexual person. My sexuality and spirituality are entwined. That’s not to say something blasphemous, like I want to lay with an angel or anything crazy like that. No, but I need to be able to connect sexually and spiritually with my significant other. When I go “there”, I go “there”. Needless to say, the zoloft regime was short-lived, to be replaced by Wellbutrin. Guess what? The Wellbutrin is not working right now…. Ugh!

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